It's time to talk about the pressures of the bachelorette party

The bachelorette party, once a casual farewell to single life, has turned into an elaborate affair, marked by intricate plans and, paradoxically, rising tensions. What used to be a fun, simple gathering to toast the bride is now a spectacle—destination trips, carefully planned itineraries, coordinated outfits, and, too often, hidden frustrations.

“A lot of couples I know have started to do this together as well, instead of doing it separately. There are a lot of brides who would want to go somewhere in India, let's say a place like Alibaug or Karjat, just to spend two days of bachelorette with the girls. But at the same time, there are brides who would want to plan an international trip to Bali or to Spain,” says Devanshi Patel, a wedding planner and founder of Shreem Events.

For many, these celebrations have morphed into something beyond just celebrating the bride. They are now a reflection of the pressure women face in modern society: crafting perfect social events, maintaining friendships that appear flawless, and navigating the delicate balance between personal desires and collective expectations.

Behind the glossy images of coordinated outfits and celebratory hashtags lies a different story. Disagreements over costs, personality clashes, and the emotional weight of planning can transform what should be a light-hearted occasion into a stress-filled ordeal. Why has something meant to be fun become so fraught with tension?

The cost of perfection

Photographer Nitin Arora, co-founder of WED FM INDIA, the country’s first wedding podcast, has observed this evolution up close. “As a wedding photographer, I’ve had the privilege of capturing some of the most beautiful, emotional moments in people’s lives,” he shares. “But I’ve also seen the strain that bachelor parties and pre-wedding events can bring. Social media has amplified the pressure, transforming what were once intimate gatherings into performances curated for likes and validation.”

For Arora, this tension became personal when one of his closest friends planned a bachelor trip to Phuket during his busiest season. “He’s like a brother to me, and everyone was so excited about the trip, planning elaborate activities to create unforgettable memories. I wanted to be there for him, but I was also committed to my clients who had trusted me to document their most important days. Ultimately, I had to prioritise my professional obligations. I attended his wedding but missed the bachelor party, the camaraderie, and all those special moments shared on Instagram and our WhatsApp group.”

The guilt, he says, lingers. “Watching those posts gave me a deep sense of FOMO. I knew I’d made the right choice professionally, but it felt like I’d let my friend down. That conflict—between personal and professional obligations—was overwhelming.”

“The financial burden is immense,” says Anagha Verma, a 29-year-old business analyst who recently attended a destination bachelorette in Turkey. “Flights, hotels, dinners, gifts… By the end, I’d spent over two months’ rent. But saying no wasn’t an option. You don’t want to be ‘that friend.’”

The unspoken hierarchy within friend groups can also exacerbate tensions. Those with more disposable income often assume the lead in decision-making, inadvertently sidelining those who are quietly struggling to keep up.

It’s experiences like this that make us realise how much these celebrations have evolved. They’re no longer just about celebrating someone’s journey; rather, they’ve become a balancing act between personal and professional obligations, financial disparities within groups, and the pressure to meet the perfection projected on social media. In our pursuit of creating these ‘perfect’ memories, we sometimes lose sight of what really matters—being present, being real, and celebrating love in its truest, simplest form.

Can the bachelorette party be transformed into a truly meaningful celebration?

Wedding planners, relationship experts, and past bridesmaids believe so—with a few thoughtful changes in approach:

Put the bride at the centre

The heart of a bachelorette party is celebrating the bride. Let go of the pressure to craft a picture-perfect, Instagram-worthy event, and instead focus on creating a celebration that truly reflects her personality and desires.

Be upfront about budgets

Money is often a source of tension. To avoid awkward moments later, begin planning with a candid conversation about costs. Choose activities that everyone can comfortably afford to ensure an inclusive and stress-free experience.

Simplify the schedule

An overloaded itinerary often leads to burnout. Keep the schedule flexible, allowing room for relaxation and spontaneity. It’s often the unexpected, unstructured moments that create the most memorable experiences.

Choose meaning over flashiness

The value of the celebration doesn’t lie in how extravagant it is. A low-key dinner, heartfelt conversations, or a cosy evening with wine and games can be far more special than a jam-packed weekend of expensive events.

Address group dynamics in advance

If there are tensions within the group, tackle them early. Setting clear expectations for communication and behaviour can help the group stay harmonious and make the celebration enjoyable for everyone.

Let go of the guilt

Here’s a truth worth holding onto: you can’t make everyone happy, and trying to will only stretch you too thin. It’s perfectly fine to step back when life demands it. The pressure to show up for every occasion is real, but genuine friendships don’t hinge on your constant presence. True friends understand that sometimes, absence is necessary for the greater responsibilities you bear.

Letting go of guilt isn’t selfish—it’s essential. Saying “no” is a boundary, not a betrayal. Real connections are built on understanding, not relentless availability, and sometimes, prioritising yourself is the most meaningful way to honour them.

Lead image: IMDb/Veere Di Wedding

Also read: Should you attend a friend’s wedding if you haven’t talked in over a year?

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