5 things that hamper emotional intimacy in marriage

They may make you feel distant as a couple, but there is always a way out.

Some people marry to meet societal expectations or feel a sense of security, but if you're among the subset of individuals who see marriage as more than just a box to check in life, it’s likely that you are seeking love and a whole lot of emotional intimacy from it. That feeling of comfort and connection with that one individual who feels like your forever home is unbeatable. This person just gets you—your verbal cues, your non-verbal communication and everything in between. In fact, even amid bickering and misunderstandings, you still feel certain that you are loved and cared for. Having said that, emotional intimacy doesn’t look the same for everyone and is more about the perceived closeness you share.

Sometimes, however, the emotional intimacy between a couple declines without noticable change until it starts affecting them in significant ways. So, we have listed factors that can hamper emotional intimacy in a marriage. Keep an eye out for these and work on it before it creates distances.

Communication gaps

Lack of communication leads to many a assumption and unarticulated needs. This often ends up in misunderstandings, which lead to unnecessary fights. When you fail to communicate what you feel and need in a situation, there is a high chance your needs may not be met, which can, in turn, hamper your emotional intimacy.

Unresolved issues

Yes, we have to pick our battles, but we must also not brush things under the carpet and avoid confrontation. It’s tough to identify when we are transitioning from being chill about things to avoiding difficult conversations. Sometimes, we end up avoiding discussing an issue altogether, only to realise it has snowballed and caused resentment. Once such feelings penetrate your relationship, it’s impossible for them not to affect the closeness between you.

Reduced quality time

Often, we get too busy in our lives and remain distracted even when we are spending time with our loved ones. You may be physically in a diner with your partner, but mentally, you are still stressed about your work deadlines. With limited bandwidth, many people start taking spending quality time with their partner for granted, leading to a decline in communication, laughter, and physical affection. You may start feeling neglected and alone in the relationship if this continues, even after you’ve communicated your need for more connection.

Image courtesy: Allef Vinicius on Unsplash

Lack of vulnerability

We can only truly open ourselves to our partners if we are able to be vulnerable with them. If you have your walls up and constantly guard your emotions, you will never be able to achieve deep emotional intimacy with your partner. In a relationship, it's important to know each other’s traumas, pain, and what hurts you, as much as it is essential to know what brings them joy.

Feelings of disconnect

If you feel you are on different pages constantly and not meeting halfway, you may start developing a disconnect. With less time spent and emotional distance, a couple may start feeling like things have changed between them and the spark has died. Such feelings of disconnection can lead to the loss of emotional intimacy.

Lead image credits: Ethan Robertson | Unsplash

Also read: Signs you need to cut your partner some slack

Also read: How lack of attention can negatively impact your relationship


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