How to harness the power of affirmations for a better relationship

In our everyday interactions, we often underestimate the impact our words can have on those around us. However, there is a simple yet profound tool that has the ability to uplift and inspire others—the power of affirmations. Words of affirmations are a form of communication that goes beyond mere words, as they carry the weight of encouragement, love and support. When we offer words of affirmations to our partner, we acknowledge their worth, validate their feelings, and provide a sense of belonging. These words have the potential to build confidence, boost self-esteem, and strengthen relationships. Whether it’s a simple compliment, a heartfelt appreciation, or an affirmation of someone’s talents and abilities, the impact of positive words cannot be underestimated. They hold the power to brighten someone’s day, instil hope in times of despair, and remind us all of our inherent value. 

The way we form attachments with others deeply shapes our relationships and interactions, and it varies for everyone. Attachment style refers to the way we form emotional bonds and connect with others. There are four primary attachment styles—secure, ambivalent or anxious, avoidant and disorganised attachment style. Words of affirmation can play a pivotal role in nurturing healthy attachment styles. 

Individuals with a secure type of attachment are able to form healthy relations. They are able to trust and rely on their partners, friends and family and communicate their feelings and emotions confidently. People with this type of attachment would thrive on words of encouragement. Affirmations like, “I feel safe and secure in our relationship because of your consistent support”, “Your love and presence bring me a deep sense of comfort and security” reinforce and validate their attachment style by acknowledging and appreciating their strengths and qualities. They provide reassurance and validation, emphasising the importance of emotional availability and trust, and open communication, which are key aspects of secure attachment. 

People with ambivalent or anxious attachment style, just as the name says, are often anxious and scared about commitments, have intense fear of rejection and abandonment. People with this attachment style seek constant reassurance. “I want you to know that I am here for you and will provide the support and reassurance you need”, “Our relationship is a safe space where you can express yourself freely”, “I will be patient and understanding of your insecurities”, “I cherish the moments we share and the love we have for each other”, all are the type of affirmations that you can say to help a person with anxious type of attachment. 

Avoidant style of attachment tends to prioritise independence and self-sufficiency over emotional closeness. They may suppress their emotions, avoid intimacy, and maintain a sense of self-reliance. They are uncomfortable expressing feelings and emotions easily and have a hard time trusting others. “I am patient and willing to give you the time and space you need”, “I will respect your boundaries while also nurturing our emotional connection”, “I recognise and appreciate the efforts you make to maintain our relationship”, such affirmations help slowly build trust and emotional connect and will allow them to see your efforts for respecting their space and boundaries. 

People with disorganised attachment style show signs of both anxious and avoidant attachment styles. Past traumas and unresolved issues impact their current attachment style. They experience extreme anxiety with conflicting emotions and struggle with trust and intimacy, leading to a cycle of pushing others away rather than seeking reassurance. Affirmations like, “Your emotions and needs are valid, and I am here to listen and support you unconditionally”, “I believe in your strength and resilience, even with the challenges that you’ve faced”, “You are deserving of love, safety, and happiness, and I am here to help you find it”, “I accept and love you as you are, embracing all parts of your journey” reassures the person of your presence and support for them. These affirmations should be offered with extra patience, compassion, and sensitivity.

Consistency is the key when expressing admiration and support. Therefore, apart from these specific tailored affirmations, it is always good to use generic affirmations daily to help people close to you. Timely compliments specific to an individual helps in boosting their self-confidence. The good ol’ “I love you” and “I’m proud of you” hold tremendous impact especially when spoken by someone we trust and hold dear. You can also be creative with your affirmations. Leaving a note in their bags or books, or on the dining table increases the fun in communication. 

However, it is very important to be cautious. It is vital to avoid negative comments, criticisms, accusations, and manipulative language. These negative words can highly trigger the individuals and might have a reverse effect on them. You might lose their trust, they will stop confiding in you and also stop believing in your words after that. 

Words of affirmations hold significant value in friendships, family dynamics, professional environments, and our overall relationships with other individuals. Recognizing and appreciating the positive attributes and accomplishments of those around us not only strengthens our bond with them but also fosters a supportive and encouraging atmosphere. By choosing our words carefully and using them to uplift and affirm others, we contribute to building stronger connections and creating a positive impact on those we care about.