Why more married couples in India are choosing to live apart, together

They wake up in different pin codes, sip their morning coffee alone, and commute to work from separate homes—but every Friday night, they come together like clockwork, still very much in love. In India’s hyper-connected, emotionally loaded marital landscape, a quiet transformation is underway: some married couples are choosing to live apart—by design, not by default. This is not separation, nor estrangement. It is a new kind of intimacy—deliberate, spacious, and increasingly visible behind the doors of India’s glassy high-rises and gated apartments.

Once considered an unlikely modern choice, Living Apart Together—where spouses maintain separate homes while staying married—is gaining traction not just abroad, but here at home. A formal study in Uttarakhand—comparing 75 LAT couples with 75 cohabiting couples—found LAT partners reported significantly higher expressions of affection, with no drop in marital satisfaction, cohesion or consensus.

What is LAT, really?

At the heart of Living Apart Together (LAT) is a simple yet radical idea: that love and autonomy can coexist. For many modern couples, particularly those navigating demanding careers, global travel schedules and deeply individualistic identities, LAT is proving more sustainable than the daily negotiations of shared living.

“It’s not a rejection of intimacy,” says Dr Deeksha Parthsarthi, neuropsychiatrist at PSRI Hospital. “It’s a reimagination of how intimacy can look—intentional, spacious and emotionally attuned.”

Celebrities like Kourtney Kardashian and actor Sheryl Lee Ralph have publicly endorsed the LAT lifestyle, sparking wider public interest. But beyond the headlines, real-life LAT couples are quietly reshaping relationship norms in India’s metros. While still a cultural outlier in a society where marriage is often synonymous with cohabitation, the LAT trend is slowly being recognised as a valid—and in some cases, a healthier—option.

The psychological benefits are compelling. LAT arrangements often encourage better communication, preserve a sense of self, and reduce the low-grade irritations that come with daily cohabitation. For introverts or those who have been previously divorced, the model offers breathing room without sacrificing emotional closeness.

“LAT couples engage with each other with more intention,” notes Dr Parthsarthi. “They’re not bound by habit or convention, but by conscious choice.”

Why couples are choosing to live apart

Today’s LAT couples are driven by more than logistics. Their motivations reflect deeper shifts in how we understand marriage, intimacy and selfhood. Siddhi Aiya, counselling psychologist and habit coach at Alyve Health, outlines the driving forces behind this new relational architecture:

Careers and economic security

In an era of professional volatility and geographic mobility, many couples choose to live apart for the sake of financial stability. Whether relocating for better opportunities or simply reducing the stress of long commutes, practical concerns are often the starting point for LAT—but not the only reason it endures.

Emotional bandwidth and space

Modern life, saturated with information and relentless social interaction, can feel overwhelming. For many, living apart restores a much-needed sense of calm and individual rhythm. We’re all overstimulated. For some, solitude is not a luxury—it’s a necessity for emotional regulation.

Intentional intimacy

When time together is limited by choice, it often becomes more deliberate and meaningful. Distance, paradoxically, can create closeness. Couples report deeper conversations, heightened appreciation and a renewed desire to show up for one another. LAT couples tend to engage with greater mindfulness. They aren’t operating on autopilot; they choose to connect.

The erotic power of space

A German study comparing seven relationship types among over 3,000 respondents echoed this. It found that unmarried LAT couples ranked highest in sexual satisfaction, surpassing even cohabiting and married counterparts. The reasoning? Autonomy, anticipation, and the preservation of erotic distance. Living separately, it turns out, doesn’t erode lust—it preserves it.

Medical research has also weighed in. A 2020 cohort study published in Andrology revealed that men in LAT arrangements reported better sexual function, higher testosterone levels and more frequent intercourse than those who lived with a partner. In clinical terms, these men showed a significantly lower incidence of erectile dysfunction (p

Not a model for everyone

That’s not to say LAT is without its difficulties. Financially, maintaining two homes can strain even the most robust budget. “Logistically, coordinating lives across different spaces demands clarity and effort. And emotionally, the absence of physical presence—especially during illness or life’s small crises—can test the limits of connection,” says Dr Parthsarthi.

Sociologist and professor Jyoti Saxena echoes this: “LAT is a profoundly mature approach to love. It demands self-awareness, emotional security and the ability to find comfort in silence, not just conversation. Many people believe that dialogue resolves conflict. But LAT requires a kind of intuitive understanding—an acceptance that sometimes, silence can be healing too.”

A study flagged a higher risk of cardiovascular events among LAT men, likely due to lifestyle stressors or the emotional toll of dual living. Additionally, some sociological reviews from the UK and Netherlands found that LAT couples may experience lower relationship satisfaction overall, especially in cultures where cohabitation is equated with legitimacy and care.

Like any modern relationship model, LAT comes with its own set of rewards and realities. For some, it offers freedom and intentional intimacy; for others, it presents unexpected logistical and emotional challenges. Whether it’s a phase, a choice, or a necessity, one thing is clear: love no longer lives by a single blueprint.

Lead image: Pexels

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