What to say (and what not to say) when meeting your partner’s parents

Things get serious and significant when your relationship gets to the next level, and suddenly you’re just a day away from meeting your partner’s parents for the very first time. Be it at a casual dinner or a family event, it can be nerve-wracking, especially when you want to make a positive impression. You start thinking a lot about the words you choose; your tone and your body language will play a vital role in how you will be perceived. In order to navigate this delicate situation, you need to strike the right balance between being yourself along with being respectful of the family dynamic. 

Here’s what to say and what to avoid when meeting your partner’s parents.

What to say

Be warm and greet them

Start with a simple "Hello" or "Nice to meet you." It sets the tone and shows that you’re open and approachable. Don’t forget to smile and make eye contact, which helps in establishing rapport and making a positive first impression. If you know their names, address them politely.

Ask them about their interests 

People love to talk about themselves, so asking questions is a great way to break the ice. “How did you two meet?” or “What do you enjoy doing in your free time?” are safe and engaging questions that can encourage conversation. Showing genuine curiosity about their hobbies or interests can help you connect.

Compliment them 

If you’re visiting their home, compliment the decor or the ambiance of the space. “You have such a lovely home” or “This place is so cosy!” is a simple, polite way to show appreciation. If they’re cooking a meal, offering a compliment on the food, such as “This looks amazing” or “It tastes so good!” is a thoughtful gesture.

Talk about positive experiences with your partner 

You can also bond by sharing positive stories or anecdotes about your partner. Talk about the fun experiences you’ve shared together, such as trips or small milestones you’ve celebrated. Doing so lets their parents see your admiration and affection for their child. This can go a long way in showing that you care about their family member and are serious about the relationship.

Stay engaged and listen 

It’s just as important to listen as it is to speak. Give your full attention to what your partner’s parents are saying, nodding and reacting thoughtfully to their stories. Engaged listening can help establish a connection, showing that you value their perspectives. This also keeps the conversation flowing and avoids awkward silences.

What not to say

Don’t discuss politics and anything controversial

Talking about politics and religion is off the table, especially when you’re just getting to know someone’s family. Even if people are voicing their opinions on the same, tread lightly, keep your thoughts to yourself by staying neutral, and remain respectful of differing viewpoints. 

Don’t overshare 

While it’s important to be open, there are some things best left unsaid when meeting your partner’s parents. Avoid sharing overly personal details about your past relationships, family drama, or other private matters that may make others uncomfortable. 

Don’t make negative remarks 

It’s important to avoid speaking negatively about your partner, especially in front of their parents. Complaining about little annoyances or pointing out flaws can create tension or make you seem unappreciative of the relationship. Keep the focus on the positive aspects of your connection and speak about your partner with admiration and respect.

Don’t overdo it 

While it’s great to express love and affection, be careful not to go overboard with compliments about your partner in front of their parents. Excessive praise can come across as insincere or uncomfortable.

Don’t talk about your future

Talking about long-term commitments, such as marriage or children, too early in the relationship can make the parents uncomfortable. While it’s natural to think about the future with your partner, bringing up big life plans when meeting their parents may seem too forward. Focus on the present. 

Avoid being critical of their family 

Even if you have differences of opinion or lifestyles, avoid making critical remarks about their family dynamics. Respecting their family traditions, even if they’re different from your own, is important for establishing mutual respect.

Lead image: vickat_kkk

Also read: How to navigate through the first parents and in-laws meet up

Also read: How to introduce your partner to your parents