Take cues from Zendaya and Tom Holland— why keeping your relationship private is key, but it doesn't have to be a secret

Zendaya and Tom Holland have been together for years, and yet, they've managed to avoid any over-the-top couple selfies, no cringey “I love you” posts, no daily relationship updates. They show up for each other when it matters, but beyond that? They keep it low-key. And they’re not the only ones. Dua Lipa and Callum Turner have been quietly dating, Olivia Rodrigo and Louis Partridge have managed to stay out of the spotlight (as much as they could've, given what they do for a living), and the era of hyper-public relationships seems to be cooling off.

In a time where everyone’s constantly sharing, oversharing, and then regretting it, there’s something refreshing about keeping things private. Not secret—just private. Because let’s be real, your relationship isn’t a reality show, and the healthiest ones are often the ones that don’t need constant external validation.

Here’s why keeping things between you and your partner (and not the entire internet) is actually the best move:

Less pressure, more peace

The more people know, the more opinions they have. And to be honest, most of them are unnecessary. Keeping your relationship private means you don’t have to deal with unsolicited advice, random gossip, or people reading too much into every little thing.

When you put your relationship out there, suddenly, every post, like, and comment becomes a conversation. “Why didn’t they comment on your post?” “Who’s that person liking all their pictures?” It’s exhausting. Keeping things private takes that pressure off—you don’t have to perform happiness for anyone, and you definitely don’t have to explain yourself. It also helps you stay present. Instead of worrying about capturing the perfect ‘couple goals’ moment for Instagram, you can just enjoy each other’s company. 

You don’t have to prove anything

Not every relationship needs to be a highlight reel. When you keep things private, you’re not constantly trying to prove how happy you are, how in love you are, or how perfect everything looks from the outside. It’s just for you—no filters, no pressure, no need to curate moments for an audience.

The truth is, relationships have ups and downs, and that’s normal. But when your relationship is too public, even the smallest things—like not posting each other for a while—can become a topic of speculation. People start making assumptions, and suddenly, you’re explaining your relationship to strangers who have no idea what’s actually going on.

If things end, it’s way less messy

Not to be a downer, but if you break up, keeping things private saves you from the headache of a public split. No awkward post-breakup clean-up, no unnecessary questions, and definitely no people speculating over cryptic captions or unfollows. You get to process it on your own terms, without the pressure of everyone watching and dissecting your every move.
 

Fewer people in your business = fewer problems

The world around us loves to speculate, and the more you share, the more everyone feels entitled to have an opinion on your relationship. A simple disagreement with your partner might turn into gossip, and something as small as not posting a picture together could spark rumours. But when you keep things private, you take away the pressure. There’s less outside chatter, fewer people giving unsolicited advice, and no need to explain your relationship to anyone but the people who really matter. It lets you focus on building something real, away from the noise.

Some things are just better when they’re yours

There’s something special about knowing certain moments, jokes, and memories are just between the two of you. In a world that constantly demands access to everything, keeping a little bit just for yourselves? That’s the real flex.

At the end of the day, love isn’t content—it’s real life. And if Zendaya and Tom Holland have taught us anything, it’s that keeping things private doesn’t mean keeping them a secret. It just means keeping them yours.

Lead image credits: Getty Images

 

Also read: How to make the most of your honeymoon if it's your first time travelling together

Also read: It's 2025—why are men still the only ones proposing?