How couples therapy is reshaping Indian marriages

In India, marriage is rarely just between two individuals. It’s a web of relationships, obligations and traditions that often spans generations. So when couples find themselves at odds—be it over daily routines or deep-seated disagreements—they’re not just navigating personal tension; they’re shouldering the weight of familial expectations. Yet therapy, in this context, still feels like a last resort—a hush-hush signal that something has gone wrong.

But what if therapy wasn’t about fixing what’s broken? What if it could be reframed as a space for clarity, growth, and emotional alignment?

Sidhharrth S Kumaar, relationship coach and founder of the wellness platform NumroVani, believes that the conversation around therapy in India is long overdue for an upgrade. “Therapy should not be seen as an ambulance,” he says, “but as a compass. It's not just for conflict resolution; it’s for cultivating a better understanding—before cracks run too deep.”

This subtle but powerful shift in mindset is particularly important in the Indian context, where relationships are governed not just by love, but also by hierarchy, duty and inherited myths.

Unpacking cultural myths

Some of the most pervasive myths Kumaar encounters in his work with couples are deeply embedded in the cultural fabric of Indian society. 

There’s the belief that compromise is the cornerstone of every successful marriage, regardless of emotional cost. Then, the idea that family elders always know best, leaving little room for individual agency or partnership dynamics. Many still believe that truly compatible couples shouldn’t need outside help, as if seeking therapy is an admission of failure. And perhaps most damaging of all is the notion that love, emotional intimacy and open communication are Western constructs—luxuries rather than necessities within a marriage. These myths, he says, silently undermine the emotional health of countless relationships.

These narratives, deeply entrenched in many Indian households, create a framework in which open emotional dialogue is not just rare—it’s discouraged. As a result, therapy is often perceived as foreign, or worse, shameful. Kumaar challenges this notion head-on. “India has its own rich legacy of emotional and relational wisdom,” he says. “Therapy isn’t alien—it’s a modern extension of our intellectual and spiritual traditions.”

He draws on classical Indian texts like the Kamasutra, not just for its erotic insights, but for its guidance on emotional connection and respectful communication. He also refers to Tantrayukti—a classical framework used in the Arthashastra and Ayurveda for disciplined thought and discourse—as a culturally resonant tool for helping couples co-create understanding without guilt or blame.

Therapy as preventive care

For many couples, the idea of seeking help without a major crisis still feels radical. But the earliest signs of misalignment are often subtle—and easy to overlook.

According to Kumaar, these signs might include:

•    A lack of emotional intimacy or curiosity

•    One partner consistently feeling unheard

•    Unspoken misalignment about future goals

•    Minor arguments that recur without resolution

•    Tension with in-laws or around familial obligations

•    A growing sense of emotional or sexual disconnect

•    Comparisons with other couples or societal ideals

Dr Astik Joshi, psychiatrist at Fortis Hospital, New Delhi, agrees. “Early warning signs that frequently get ignored are irritations over trifling things that continue over time, increasing emotional distance, and shying away from confronting hard talks,” he says. “Couples often normalise this as ‘married life’, yet such habits usually mean an erosion of emotional closeness over time.”

Joshi describes how many couples fall into the trap of chronic miscommunication, unspoken disappointments and emotional fatigue masked as routine. “Using sarcasm instead of affection, or being ‘lonely together’—these are strong signals that preventive therapy might be incredibly useful,” he notes.

Navigating life transitions, together

In the Indian landscape, where life changes often involve complex family arrangements—relocating abroad, moving in with in-laws, becoming parents—these transitions can introduce a fresh set of emotional challenges.

“Every shift carries hidden grief,” Kumaar says. “Loss of autonomy, identity, space. These changes test not just the relationship, but the stories people tell themselves about what marriage should look like.”

Instead of brushing aside the stress as “just part of life”, Kumaar encourages couples to name it, share it and process it together.

Joshi adds that therapy, in this context, should be thought of as part of a life-cycle approach: “Pre-marital therapy, sessions during pregnancy or after childbirth, or even pre-shifting conversations before moving into a joint family can help couples pre-empt stress and strengthen communication. Preventive therapy in India is akin to health check-ups—it prepares, rather than repairs.”

Whether it’s negotiating shared space or redefining roles after the birth of a child, therapy offers a neutral ground where partners can recalibrate, express concerns without guilt and reinforce their sense of teamwork.

The gender divide—and a glimmer of change

Therapy, in India, is still gendered. Among millennials and older generations, it’s typically women who initiate it—often because they’ve been socialised to take on the emotional labour of sustaining a relationship. Men, by contrast, are more likely to resist, viewing therapy as a confrontation or as a sign of weakness.

“Younger couples are changing that,” Kumaar notes. “With Gen Z, there’s a growing openness to therapy from all genders. Vulnerability is starting to be seen as strength, not shame.”

Even so, generational and societal pressures persist. In many sessions, couples find themselves not just working through personal issues, but dismantling the inherited beliefs that shape their emotional reflexes.

To counter cultural stigma, Joshi reframes therapy as relationship coaching: “In a society where silence is equated with strength, therapy isn’t about complaint—it’s about growth. Even the strongest machinery needs periodic servicing. Therapy is a sign that you care enough to keep your connection running smoothly.”

For couples who view therapy as a Western import, Kumaar offers a gentle reminder: the foundations of self-awareness, mutual respect and emotional inquiry are deeply rooted in Indian philosophy. He integrates principles like dharma (duty), saha-dharma (shared life path) and samvaad (meaningful dialogue) into his sessions—not as cultural window-dressing, but as essential tools for building connection in a modern context.

“Therapy becomes more relatable when it mirrors what we already value—shared duty, respect, balance,” he says.

Self-inquiry as a first step

For couples unsure whether they “need” therapy, both experts recommend starting with reflective, honest self-questioning. Kumaar suggests:

•    Can we talk openly about our feelings without fear of judgment?

•    Do we routinely check in on each other’s dreams and fears?

•    Are we repeating the same arguments without progress?

•    Has intimacy become routine, distant or stressful?

•    Do we avoid hard conversations for fear they’ll spiral?

•    Do we feel emotionally and physically connected?

•    In conflict, do we feel heard, or just hurt?

Joshi offers additional prompts that often signal when professional help might be overdue: “Are we emotionally connected, or just managing logistics? Do we hear and respect each other even in disagreement? Are we drifting apart quietly?” If the answer is uncertain or tense, therapy isn’t a sign of failure, he says—it’s a form of emotional hygiene.

The stakes are real. “The most prevalent invisible ruptures I see,” Joshi says, “are chronic emotional neglect, suppressed grief from miscarriage or infertility, or unspoken resentment around in-laws. Couples often show up when the emotional numbness has already taken hold. Had they come earlier, therapy could have allowed for realignment instead of repair.”

Lead image: Pexels

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