The ‘perfect family’ is a myth—but love and effort are real

“Family is supposed to support you.” “Mothers always know best.” “You just need a boy to complete the picture.” “Teenagers? Just moody, that’s all.” These are the phrases we’ve grown up hearing—lines passed down like heirlooms, shaping a rigid, one-size-fits-all picture of what a ‘perfect family’ should look like.

But here’s the truth: there is no perfect family. There’s no single script, no neat checklist, no glossy magazine version that applies to everyone. Behind every closed door is a different story—one with its own rhythms, roles, love languages, miscommunications, sacrifices, and slow, quiet healing.

So, this International Day of Families, let’s drop the performance. Let’s stop measuring our families against someone else’s highlight reel—and start talking about what truly makes them work in their own beautiful, complicated, and imperfect ways.

Ask—and really listen

One of the most powerful acts of love is simply listening. Not to respond. Not to correct. Just to understand.

Sometimes, what sounds like complaining is actually a cry for help. Your mother’s endless nagging might be exhaustion in disguise. Your father’s silence may not be distance, but quiet worry. Your teenager’s moodiness might actually be anxiety or loneliness. Your partner might not be pulling away—they could just need a moment to breathe.

When you start listening without judgment, you realise: no one’s trying to be difficult. Everyone’s just trying to be understood.

Speak your needs—don’t expect to be read like a book

The other half of honest communication? Speaking up. Your family can’t support what they don’t know.

So, say it out loud. That you’re overwhelmed. That you need some help. That you’ve changed your mind about what makes you happy. Maybe you don’t like Gulab Jamuns anymore. Maybe your partner’s tea slurping genuinely drives you up the wall. Whatever it is—say it.

We expect those closest to us to just know. But people aren’t mind readers, even when they love you. Giving them the tools to understand you isn’t a weakness—it’s a gift.

Don’t hesitate to show appreciation

We all want to be seen. Not just for the big wins, but for the invisible, everyday efforts too.

The emotional weight women carry running a home. The pressure men often feel to be strong and stoic. The endless hustle of a teenager trying to make their mark. The quiet ways your partner makes your day easier, even if it’s just remembering how you like your coffee.

A simple “thank you” or a moment of genuine recognition for how your family consistently shows up can transform routine into joy. And when it comes from those closest to you, it means more than you might realise.

Make space for yourself and for others

In many Indian households, the idea of personal space is still seen as... foreign. But space isn’t distance. It’s respect. It’s emotional breathing room. It’s what allows us to come back to each other with patience instead of resentment.

Let your loved ones retreat when they need to. Respect their quiet moments, their passions, and their need to just be. And take that space for yourself, too, guilt-free.

Because closeness doesn’t mean constant proximity. It means being able to say: “I’m here when you’re ready.”

There’s no such thing as a flawless family. There’s no magic formula. But there is effort. There’s showing up. There’s listening, expressing, appreciating, and respecting. And that’s what transforms a house into a home.

So, this International Day of Families, let’s celebrate not the fantasy, but the real—the messy, evolving, deeply human nature of family. Because being perfect was never the point. Growing together? That’s the goal.

Lead image: Katrina Kaif/Instagram

Also read: How your attachment style shapes your romantic relationships

Also read: How to handle last-minute wedding changes from your in-laws