Your bridesmaids aren't your employees! Here's how to be a chill bride and still have control
They’re there to celebrate you, not to be managed like staff.
Getting engaged flips a switch you didn’t know existed. Everyone you know starts acting like they’re auditioning for a wedding reality show. Your mum is campaigning for a 300-person guest list, your fiancé suddenly has strong opinions about napkin colours, and your best friends are promoted to bridesmaids. It sounds sweet until it starts feeling like you’re running a small company.
Somewhere between the chaos, bridesmaids were treated less like friends and more like unpaid interns. Group chats feel like virtual Bigg Boss, sangeet practices have scheduled meetings, spreadsheets are suddenly sacred, and there’s always a little bit of politics brewing on the side. Outfit discussions morph into board meetings, and you realise that the joy of getting your best friend married has been sucked out of you. So yeah, this does seem like a full-time job.
Swing too far in the other direction and you get a different kind of disaster: mismatched sarees, sangeet steps that look like a warm-up routine, and a DJ who plays 'Bole Chudiyan' on repeat because the crowd seems to be going gaga over it each time. Being a chill bride without losing control isn’t about hovering over everyone, but it isn’t about throwing your hands up either. It’s about finding that sweet spot where the wedding still feels like yours, without making your closest people feel like they're unappreciated.
The fastest way to become unbearable is to believe that every single detail matters. It doesn’t. Decide on the two things that will keep you sane, maybe it’s coordinated lehengas, maybe it’s that nobody wears neon at the pheras and let the rest slide. You’re not going to remember whether the haldi décor matched your Pinterest board, but you will remember screaming at your best friend about marigolds. Not a cute memory.
Stop expecting Olympic-level dedication
You might have been dreaming of that perfectly choreographed sangeet performance since you were twelve, but your bridesmaids are not backup dancers for a music video. They’re your friends, which means at least one of them has two left feet, another will ghost half the rehearsals because of work, and someone will inevitably forget a step on the day. Let it happen. The best performances are the ones where everyone is laughing through the mistakes not the ones that look like they were directed by Sanjay Leela Bhansali.
Don’t make friendship feel like a financial burden
Between outfits, travel, and gifting, being a bridesmaid can drain a bank account. Don’t add to it by demanding matching custom jewellery or insisting everyone stay at the most expensive resort on your list. Share costs early, cover what you can, and be realistic about the rest. A friend who’s excited to be there in a slightly different shade of pink is better than one silently resenting you while swiping her credit card again.
Keep the group chat functional
Delegation isn’t giving someone a job and then hovering over them like a micromanaging boss; we all know too well how that feels. If you’ve asked your cousin to curate the mehendi playlist, let her do it without sliding into her messages every hour to check if she’s added that one Arijit Singh song you love. Trust your people. The small imperfections will give your wedding its personality.
Remember why you picked them
These people are standing next to you because they’ve seen you through bad haircuts, questionable relationships, and years of inside jokes. That’s the point. The best moments won’t come from the schedule, they’ll come from the in-betweens: the chai runs before the mehendi, the panic over missing safety pins, the way everyone collectively loses it when your uncle starts doing a solo performance at the sangeet. That’s what you’ll carry with you, not whether everyone’s earrings matched.
A good wedding feels like an extension of who you are. A great wedding feels like everyone who showed up had a role in making it special. Treat your bridesmaids like co-conspirators, not staff, and you won’t just get through it without losing control, you’ll actually enjoy it.
Lead image: Freepik
Also read: How to get along with a difficult sister-in-law
Also read: 9 bride behaviors that can annoy their bridesmaids
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Your bridesmaids aren't your employees! Here's how to be a chill bride and still have control
They’re there to celebrate you, not to be managed like staff.
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