Things You Should Keep in Mind if Your Partner Has Cheated On You!

Having your safety net stolen from you can be scary. But, perhaps the lesson isn’t what the person did to you but understanding that when it comes to safety nets, the only person that can catch you when you fall was always, only you.

Do not let this experience leave you with a scar and make you put up walls that don’t allow you to believe in love and trust. No matter how beautiful these words are to experience, they always involve taking a risk. A risk of getting hurt and the risk of someone letting you down. Understanding that people are flawed, that they make mistakes and no one is perfect is key. However, you get to decide what you’re willing to forgive and what is an absolute deal-breaker for you.

What do I do now? Once you have taken the time to heal, what you do from here is completely up to you. If you want to forgive this person and work at the relationship together, then this will require a lot of patience and work. Rebuilding trust is one of the most difficult things to do and couples counselling is a good idea if you both are willing to mend your relationship. However, if you know that there is no possible way for you to ever forgive this person, then the best thing you can do is walk away.

Move your energy: When something happens in life and you don’t know how to deal with a situation, the best thing to do is remove yourself from it. I strongly recommend taking some time apart to realign your energy. Since this experience takes a toll on your self-esteem, it is important that you give that love back to yourself. Focus on your passions, your hobbies and spend time with your friends and family. Be surrounded by the support system you have outside your relationship, to remind yourself that your significant other isn’t your only source of happiness in your life.

Dealing with the trauma: It is going to take you a while to be able to even stomach this information. So, allow yourself the time it will take to accept this new reality. Your mind will spiral into not wanting to accept the truth while having to deal with it, at the exact same time. Allow yourself to go through the emotions and understand that it will take time to deal with the trauma faced by finding out this information.

This wasn’t about you: When something like this happens, it is easy to spiral into emotions of self-doubt. What could I have done better? Wasn’t I enough? Did I not satisfy them enough? The most important thing for you to keep in mind while trying to move forward is that you didn’t do this. This speaks volumes about them and their commitment issues. There is nothing that YOU could have done better and a whole lot that they could have.

Anger, betrayal and intense hurt are just some of the feelings that a person cheated on has to deal with. But, you can wipe away your tears and take charge. The author lists her suggestions to deal with this messy situation:

"There is probably nothing more painful than finding out that the person you trusted the most cheated on you. It’s like having the carpet pulled from under your feet, as the trust you once shared with that person is stolen from you the second this information is brought to light. An extremely disappointing and traumatic experience for most, being cheated on leaves you with a barrage of emotions to work through.  Take a look at some of the things you should keep in mind," says Shahzeen Shivdasani, a relationship expert and author of the book Love, Lust and Lemons.