Navigating the first year of marriage: What to expect and how to thrive

If one thought that the first year of marriage will be full of sunshine and rainbows, they thought wrong. While it’s filled with a lot of excitement, there’s an equal amount of challenges, adjustments and a lot of growth opportunities as you go from two individuals to being a couple all set to live their life together. While one doesn’t know what could happen next, here are a few pointers on what one could expect, and how to not just navigate them, but thrive during this crucial time as well. 

The change in dynamic: From being partners, or engaged, moving to a married life is a huge shift to say the very least. From either living alone, with your family, or with them, you’re now sharing roles, routines, responsibilities and taking a host of decisions together. You might/will also find out their habits, and routines that you never noticed before. These are things that will take time adjusting to. 

This is where you speak to your partner and let them know what your needs and expectations are, instead of assuming that they will know how you’re feeling. It’s important to be patient and learn about your partner (remember, that it’s new for them as well). 

Money matters: Managing finances together is one of the biggest challenges and issues couples face in the first year of marriage. The reason is simple, as combining finances, managing debt, budgeting, and saving can feel overwhelming. A way to navigate this is by having regular check-ins where the two partners align on financial goals, track expenses, and highlight any concerns. And just like any other important conversation, be transparent about how and what you spend money on. One could consider having joint or separate bank accounts depending on what works best. 

The difference between me and us time: It’s very natural to get caught up in the newly-married life and not get and give yourself the time you need. Do remember to respect each other’s need for ‘me time’. Be it indulging in a hobby, spending time with friends, or just some down-time all alone, striking this perfect balance between personal and couple time is crucial to have a healthy relationship—with yourself and your partner. 

Resolving disagreements and conflict: There will be arguments, and fights with your partner as you tackle the differences in personalities, values, and expectations. Couples can overcome this obstacle by learning how to fight fair, not blaming or name-calling each other, and not resorting to bringing up matters of the past. What’s more important is to focus on the present issue and work together towards finding a solution. Over time, the couple will learn that’s it is more important to compromise and adjust than winning the argument. 

Dealing with a dip in intimacy: The honeymoon phase will end one day. And that’s where you’ll realise that making a marriage work, is serious business. With couples experiences a decrease in romance as they adjust to the routine of married life, take and make an earnest effort to nurture the bond that you share with your spouse. Be it small gestures of affection, verbal affirmation, spending quality time, stay proactive in making intimacy a priority. Both partners can take the time out to create rituals—weekly date nights, cooking dinner together, going for a vacation every 3-4 months, to strengthen the connection.

Balancing career and family: As a newly-wed couple, you won’t just be juggling your married life, but career goals as well. Support each other’s career aspirations while making sure to create time for your relationship. Talk about your goals and dreams as individuals and as a couple. These discussions are sure to help you understand each other’s values and priorities and ensure you’re on the same page when it comes to planning your future.

Dealing with external expectations: While you and your partner have expectations from each other, your friends and family have expectations from you two as well. This could range from when you’ll have kids to how often you will meet them. Navigate the situation by establishing clear boundaries with these people for it is necessary to prioritise your wedding without feeling pressurised or obligated to meet the expectations of others. 

One might think that the first year is filled with challenges, yes that bit is true, but it’s also filled with opportunities where both people can grow, and deepen their connection. As long as you celebrate the small victories and milestones, have each other’s back, laugh together, you’re taking the right steps towards a marriage that’s built with a lot of love, trust, and support for each other. 

Lead image: kriti.kharbanda | Instagram

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