How to get along with a difficult sister-in-law

You’ve found your perfect person, planned a dreamy wedding, and are ready to live out your happily ever after. But wait—there’s a plot twist. At your engagement, she joked that you were “the third one this year.” At your wedding, she asked if your lehenga was “supposed to be that bright.” And during your first family dinner as a newlywed, she referred to your home-cooked biryani as “cute.”

Yep, your sister-in-law (SIL) might just be the unexpected antagonist in your love story. But before you prepare for emotional warfare, here’s how to handle the drama with grace, humour, and maybe even a little friendship (eventually).

Don’t go in with your claws out

Make it about more than just him

Sure, you both love your partner, but that’s just the start of your relationship. Finding common interests outside your shared connection can turn a frosty dynamic into something warmer. Whether it’s bonding over a guilty pleasure TV show, swapping skincare tips, or debating the best biryani spot in town, these little shared moments can break down walls one laugh at a time.

Keep the group chat receipts to yourself

When your SIL sends a passive-aggressive message or makes a snide remark, it’s tempting to immediately hit “reply all” or flood your friends with screenshots. But trust us, airing grievances in group chats or social media rarely helps. It can escalate tensions and make you look petty. Instead, process your feelings offline—journal, vent to your bestie, or take a long walk. Keeping your cool wins more battles than petty texting ever will.

Be inclusive (even if she makes it hard)

Set boundaries with a soft touch

If your sister-in-law crosses a line, it’s important to stand your ground—but that doesn’t mean confrontation needs to feel like a courtroom drama. A lighthearted but firm response can communicate your limits without turning the atmosphere hostile. For example, if she critiques your choices, a cheeky, “Different strokes, right?” can shut down negativity while keeping things civil and leaving the door open for future conversations.

Don’t compete, co-exist

You don’t need to be her best friend—or even like her all the time—but trying to compete or win family “points” will only add to the stress. Instead, focus on carving out your own positive place in the family. Celebrate your unique relationship with your partner and make your own memories without worrying about one-upping anyone. After all, family isn’t a competition; it’s a team.

Play the long game

You don’t have to be best friends, but a little kindness and tact can turn tense moments into manageable ones. So keep calm, stay gracious, and maybe one day you’ll actually laugh about those “third one this year” jokes over a cup of chai.

Lead image: IMDb

Also read: How to handle last-minute wedding changes from your in-laws

Also read: How to deal with in-law disagreements while supporting your partner