Sanjay Garg on the need for intimate weddings that reflect the couple

Weddings are supposed to be a couple’s moment of happiness and joy. Yet, the weight of expectations—be it of family, friends, or society—is immense. It’s somehow not just about making a personal commitment; it’s about putting on a show and meeting everyone’s standards. So often, the couple’s individuality gets lost in all this noise. Their moment gets shrouded with opinions and preferences that aren’t always their own. 

The billion-dollar wedding industry thrives on the excess and perpetuates the notion that larger, more extravagant celebrations hold greater significance. The word ‘sophistication’ seems almost out of place now— destination weddings, foreign dancers and extravagant displays of showmanship have replaced the understated elegance that was once associated with these ceremonies. Flowers flown in from abroad have become a status symbol. There’s a growing tendency to associate wealth with value, and weddings are becoming more about spectacle than intimacy amid these.

The only way to instigate genuine change is to lead with awareness. Representation starts conversations. Small, intimate ceremonies—the ones true to the couple’s values—are becoming a quiet, powerful counter-narrative.

I’ve never felt the need to be prescriptive about weddings. Raw Mango doesn’t have ‘bridal’ collections—we have brides who have worn simple Sooti saris or solid Mashrus and heavy brocades. One bride chose a simple court wedding, another married across cultures and created a new space where traditions weren’t imposed but reimagined. Someone else married after having a child, creating their own timeline instead of following societal expectations. There are brides who retain only the rituals that hold meaning for them, rejecting the ones that don’t resonate…

These stories are a reminder that a wedding isn’t about checking off boxes; it’s about the couple’s journey, their values and what they choose to carry forward. I’ve known couples who hosted their wedding at home, and brides who chose a simple brocade lehenga rather than the heavily embroidered designs they are so often expected to wear. They aren’t trying to prove anything to anyone; they are simply staying true to themselves.

All of this commentary finds place in our work—the campaigns are a way for me to narrate a story, and these stories are often linked to my personal experiences. ‘Heer’ was a story of love in undivided Punjab, and (BETWEEN)’s campaign was also an intimate experience. There’s always a mix of emotions. On one hand, there’s happiness for someone’s joy, but you also feel a sense of loss. One does not always feel what is expected of them. At a certain phase of your life, you see things in a certain way.

I do believe weddings in India are a coming together of families, but it’s as much about the couple, if not more. The balance—and therefore, the bargain—starts from an early age… How much freedom they have, whether their parents will listen to them… These things aren’t decided when planning a wedding; they are already known. Every family has a different understanding of tolerance, of how much parents listen to their children and how much they impose on them. It’s the complexity of human relationships. There’s always a compromise. Every day, it becomes clearer to me that there’s nothing right or wrong. People who fight for right and wrong in relationships are asking for a disaster. It’s all about reaching a middle ground.

At the end of the day, a wedding should be a reflection of two people uniting, not a checklist of what society expects. It’s about finding that balance and staying true to oneself. Aside from the weddings of close family or friends, I’d like to think that the most memorable weddings are the ones where I wasn’t invited—the ones that are actually small, intimate gatherings that truly reflect the couple’s desires.

All images: The brand 

This article first appeared in Brides Today, October-December 2024, print edition.

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