10 therapist-advised ways to keep the spark in a relationship alive

Let’s say that you’ve been in a committed relationship for what seems like an eternity, and you’ve already experienced your own unique rom-com moment with your very own charming meet-cute, gone through many difficulties, weathered countless arguments, and emerged from it all relatively unscathed. Now, you find yourself at the end of the rom-com, where the happily ever after fades to black, the credits roll, and the romantic comedy concludes. You're back to reality—a life full of deadlines, schedules, errands, and chores. Considering this, how do you keep the romance alive when faced with the monotony of everyday life?

Let’s look into why couples lose “the spark”?
Well, well, well, if it isn't the age-old question about why couples lose "the spark" in their relationship. It's a question that's plagued lovers since the dawn of time (or at least since the dawn of monogamous relationships), and it's one that therapists are all too familiar with. Couples can experience a decline in their romantic spark, which refers to their chemistry or a deep emotional bond, because of various reasons such as geographical distances, conflicting schedules, or a build-up of negative feelings.

First, let's acknowledge that relationships are like spicy food. At first, the heat is exhilarating, and you can't get enough of it. But over time, you get used to the spice, and it doesn't have the same kick it once did. Similarly, couples can get so comfortable in their routines that they forget to add a little spice to their relationship. The result? Bland and boring, and the spark fizzles out. 

Here’s another analogy for all those science-ey folks out there. Think of romance like a muscle—when you don’t actively work on it, it weakens. 

Onto the main question: How do we keep that spark alive? 

Well, we spoke to a few therapists who have a few simple tricks up their sleeves.

1. Communication

The key to spicing up your love life is communication! Keep that chit-chat flowing with your partner and don't hold back on expressing your thoughts and feelings—even your deepest, darkest desires. Oh, and don't forget to lend a ear and understand where they're coming from. 

Which brings us to our next point…

2. Show your appreciation

Show your partner how much you appreciate them. Give credit where credit's due and thank them for all the sweet little things they do for you. Trust us, it's worth the effort to make them feel appreciated. A sprinkle of gratitude can work wonders in keeping the passion alive!

3. Try new things

Forget the usual date night routine and try something fresh together. From trying out exotic cuisines to taking up a quirky hobby or even exploring a new city, there are countless ways to add some excitement to your relationship. When you shake things up and try something new, not only will it be a blast, but it'll also reveal new things about your partner that you never knew before. And beware, you might just fall in love with them all over again! So grab your partner's hand and get ready for a wild ride of excitement and rediscovery!

4. Surprise gestures

Jazz up your romance game by leaving notes, planning surprise dates, or even sending an out-of-the-blue gift. Shower your loved one with affectionate gestures that will make their heart sing, like cooking up their fave meal or leaving a sweet message just because. Keep the spark alive with these small but mighty ways of showing your appreciation!

5. Practice empathy and listen attentively

First off, empathy and attention are like the bread and butter of any long-lasting partnership. So, when your significant other is opening up about their latest drama—whether it is a family conflict or a workplace dilemma—don't just nod along like a bobblehead. Really listen to what they're saying and show that you care! Plus, when you listen, you can learn new things about your partner, things you didn’t know before.

6. Quality time

Schedule some phone-free, work-free time to spend together! It could be a fancy night out or just a cosy night in with a good movie. No matter what you choose, the key is to enjoy each other’s company without any interruptions. Remember, being present is key! 

7. Laugh together

They say laughter is the best medicine, but it's also the best way to keep the flame burning bright. Instead of waiting for some far-off "someday" to find the humour in your fights or awkward moments, start giggling now! After all, if you're in it for the long haul, why take things too seriously? Watch a funny movie or show, reminisce about hilarious memories, and send each other memes that perfectly capture your shared sense of humour. And don't forget to tease each other like you're back in middle school—because life's too short to be serious all the time. So go ahead, let out a few laughs, and watch your relationship shine!

8. Have a real conversation

When was the last time you had a heart-to-heart with your significant other that didn't involve grocery lists or happen in the few seconds before you dozed off? Let's be real. Emotional connection means sharing dreams and aspirations and connecting on a deeper level. So, if you're tired of hearing the same old "How was work?" or "Who’s buying the groceries tomorrow?", it's time to spice things up! Try asking your partner what they're secretly dying to try or their favourite thing about your relationship. Aim for more giggles, laughs, and heartwarming moments!

9. Spend some time apart

Are you and your significant other joined at the hip? Well, even if you're living miles apart, a little time apart can be a good thing. Whether you're making time for some yoga or taking a weekend trip with your friends, spending time away from each other gives your partner the space to miss you (and vice versa). Plus, doing your own thing gives you both something new to talk about and breaks up your usual routine. And let's not forget about self-care! Taking time for yourself and doing what you want can boost your confidence, and we all know confidence is key to igniting that spark!

10. Don’t wait for your partner to make the change

Want to add more romance to your relationship without feeling like a nag? It's simple, give more! Instead of asking all the time, think of how much more can be given to your partner, instead of waiting for your partner to make the first move, go ahead and make the first move! Remember those early days of your relationship when you were both head-over-heels? Rekindle that flame by treating them with the same level of love and affection. Who says fairy tales don't come true? Start acting like it's the beginning, and your happily ever after may never have to end!