10 habits that make you a bad bridesmaid (you know who you are)

Because being a bridesmaid is about showing up for the bride, not stealing the spotlight.

Team Brides Today

Jan 31, 2026

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Because being a bridesmaid is about showing up for the bride, not stealing the spotlight.

Weddings have a funny way of bringing out the best and worst in people. On one hand, they’re about love, celebration, and chosen family. On the other, they’re emotional pressure cookers where opinions get louder, boundaries blur, and everyone suddenly has very strong feelings about colours, timelines, and footwear.

This is where bridesmaids come in. In theory, their role is simple: show up, help out, keep the bride sane, and fade gracefully into the background when needed. In practice, that balance doesn’t always hold. Somewhere between outfit fittings and wedding weekends, a few bridesmaids forget that their job is to support the bride, not stress her out further.

I've been to my fair share of weddings, where the bridesmaids are usually supportive angels, there for whenever you need them. But I've also been to weddings where bridesmaids seem determined to make the entire affair about themselves, if not be absolutely irritating and absent when needed, defeating their whole purpose altogether. From complaining openly about the outfits and speaking over the bride to flirting through the ceremonies, and carrying an unmistakable pick-me energy that usually makes guests quiver with embarrassment. It's bad manners and attention-seeking behaviour that often shifts the mood and adds unnecessary stress to an already overwhelming day. Now, no one expects you to be the perfect bridesmaid like Katherine Heigl in 27 Dresses. She agreed to wear ugly dresses and be in uncomfortable situations, simply acknowledging that, “It’s her day, not mine,” when asked about the ugly bridesmaid gowns.

This one line is exactly what bridesmaids need to hear. Ahead, the habits that turn well-meaning bridesmaids into quiet wedding chaos, and how not to make someone else’s big day about you.

Treating the wedding like your personal party

Yes, weddings are fun. There’s music, alcohol, and a sense that rules don’t apply. But if you’re a bridesmaid, disappearing mid-function, getting overly drunk, or prioritising the party over the bride isn’t it. This isn’t the moment to wander off or become a whispered anecdote. Celebrate, absolutely. Just stay present, available, and remember why you’re there.

Competing with the bride (be honest)

If you’re secretly hoping people will say, “You could’ve been the bride,” we need to talk. This includes over-the-top outfits, hair that screams bridal but better, and a general air of “effortless perfection.” The goal is to complement, not compete. There is only one main character, and today is not your origin story.

Making every decision about your comfort

From complaining about lehenga colours to sulking over shoe choices, bad bridesmaids treat the wedding like a personal inconvenience. Unless the outfit is genuinely unwearable or the request is unreasonable, sometimes the answer is simply: suck it up. It’s one day. Not a lifestyle imposition.

Trauma-dumping during wedding events

A wedding is not the moment to unpack your relationship issues or existential fears. Pulling the bride aside mid-function to talk about how weddings trigger you is deeply misjudged. Your job is to protect her energy, not drain it. Timing matters, and this isn’t it.

Turning group chats into your personal TED Talk

Wedding group chats are logistical lifelines, not a space for your unsolicited opinions, emotional processing, or long voice notes about how you would do things differently. If every ping makes the bride anxious because she knows it’s another opinion she didn’t ask for, that’s on you.

Being “brutally honest” when nobody asked

There’s honesty, and then there’s chaos disguised as concern. Weddings are not the time for unsolicited opinions or last-minute truths. If your feedback isn’t constructive, necessary, or requested, keep it to yourself. Saying “I just don’t love this for you” helps no one.

Disappearing when actual help is needed

Some bridesmaids are loud during planning and mysteriously unavailable when things get real. If you vanish during fittings, logistics, or last-minute chaos but show up perfectly styled for the functions, you’re not a bridesmaid, you’re a guest with benefits.

Creating drama where none exists

Bad bridesmaids have a knack for micro-conflicts. Who stood where, who got more attention, who didn’t reply fast enough. None of it matters, but all of it creates noise. If you’re constantly stirring the pot, remember this: peace is also a contribution.

Mistaking the wedding for a personal brand moment

The lighting might be flawless, but this isn’t the time to storyboard reels while the bride is juggling nerves, timelines, and emotions. If you’re more concerned about your angles than the bride’s nerves or worse, staging moments for Instagram while she’s mid-breakdown, you’ve missed the brief. Support first. Content later. Or never.

Forgetting that this day isn’t about you

This is the biggest offence of all. A wedding is about celebrating someone you love, not centring your own feelings or needs. If your presence adds stress, tension, or a constant need for reassurance, you’ve shifted the focus away from the couple. Being a bridesmaid means knowing when to step in, and when to step back.A good bridesmaid shows up, steps back when needed, and remembers that love, not limelight, is the point. Be the calm in the chaos. Be the person the bride leans on, not the one she has to manage.

And if this list felt uncomfortably familiar? Congratulations. Growth starts with self-awareness.

Lead image credit: IMDb

Also read: Your Pinterest wedding board is a lie! Here’s how you can tackle any last minute disasters

Also read: How to survive weddings when you're single and interested, but hate making small talk