Is it healthy to keep mementos from your ex in a new relationship or marriage?

When entering a new relationship or marriage, people often bring parts of their past with them—memories, experiences, and sometimes even physical items—such as gifts, letters, photographs, or clothes from former partners. Some keep mementos for sentimental reasons, while others do so or out of habit. While some individuals see these keepsakes as harmless reminders of their past, others may view them as a lingering attachment to a previous relationship. Which raises an important question—is it healthy to keep things from your ex when you’re committed to someone new? 

There’s no right or wrong answer to it, as it solely depends on why the person has chosen to keep those items and how they impact the new relationship.

Why keeping things from an ex can be healthy

It's a reminder of how far you’ve come 

Holding onto something from a past relationship doesn’t always mean you’re stuck in the past. Sometimes, a gift or keepsake represents an important time in your life, separate from your ex. If an item helps you reflect on how much you’ve grown rather than keeping you emotionally tied to the relationship, it’s not necessarily a bad thing—even in a new relationship.

It holds practical value 

Not all things from past relationships carry emotional weight or sentiment. Some people keep things simply because they like them or because they have practical value. For example, a watch, book, or pair of shoes may hold significance without evoking lingering romantic feelings. If the current partner understands and accepts this, keeping such items may not be an issue.

A sign of emotional maturity

Understanding that the past is a part of life is a sign of emotional maturity. Keeping certain items doesn’t always mean holding onto old feelings—it can simply reflect personal memories or experiences. In a secure and trusting relationship, these belongings don’t have to be an issue. Being open about why you’ve kept them can encourage honest conversations and strengthen mutual understanding.

When does it becomes unhealthy?

Not moving on 

Holding onto items from an ex can sometimes indicate unresolved feelings. If a person frequently reminisces about their former relationship or feels emotionally attached to these objects, it may signal that they haven’t fully moved on. This could create tension in the new relationship, making the current partner feel insecure or unimportant.

Not respecting what the new partner wants 

If the new partner expresses discomfort with certain items from an ex, dismissing their feelings can be unhealthy for the relationship. A successful partnership is built on mutual respect and consideration. If a significant other feels uneasy about a particular thing from the past, it’s worth having a conversation about why the item is important and whether keeping it is necessary.

Creates unnecessary drama

Even if keeping things from an ex isn’t a sign of emotional attachment, it can still lead to misunderstandings and jealousy. If the presence of these items causes frequent arguments or tension, it may not be worth holding onto them. 

The start of comparisons 

Keeping sentimental objects from an ex could lead to comparisons between past and present partners. The presence of an object tied to an ex might reinforce an emotional connection that could stop the growth of the current relationship. 

How to strike the right balance?

To strike the right balance, start by evaluating your intentions—ask yourself if you’re keeping an item for personal memories or if it still holds emotional ties to your past relationship. If your partner feels uncomfortable, communicate openly and discuss each other’s perspectives to find a compromise. Prioritising your current relationship is key, so if holding onto something causes tension or makes your partner feel undervalued, consider whether it’s worth keeping. Every relationship is different, so setting clear boundaries about past relationships can help both partners feel secure and respected.

Keeping things from an ex in a new relationship or marriage isn’t inherently good or bad—it depends on the emotional significance of the items, the couple’s level of trust, and the impact on the relationship. While some keepsakes may be harmless, others can create emotional complications that hinder a couple’s ability to move forward. The most important factor is ensuring that both partners feel valued, respected, and secure. By having open communication and prioritising the present relationship, couples can navigate this issue in a way that strengthens their bond rather than causing division.

Lead image: Ranveer Singh/Instagram

Also read: Fun ways to heal and reclaim your joy after a breakup

Also read: Green flags to spot on a first date with a potential marriage match