#TheLehengaProject: How this couple dated for a decade before tying the knot

Sonam Wangmo and Skalchang Dawa were first introduced to each other 10 years ago by Dawa’s cousin, who was also Wangmo’s best friend. Initially, both connected through Facebook; Dawa was studying in Delhi while Wangmo was in Bengaluru. After a few months of long-distance relationship, Dawa mustered the courage to ask Sonam to be his girlfriend over a phone call (in an inebriated state). “She was the first girl I’ve ever liked. So, when I was at a friend’s birthday party and under the influence, I called her and asked her out because I wouldn’t have had the nerve to ask her if I was sober,” Dawa says. However, Wangmo insisted on meeting him in person before committing to a relationship. “I actually wanted to check his height first,” she jovially admits. She took a bold step and utilised her college fees to fly from Bengaluru to Delhi to meet Dawa. He was surprised and thrilled to see her and they took a trip to a nearby hill town,  Lansdowne, on their friends' insistence; they also chipped in some money for their two-day getaway. “We spent quality time and really got to know each other in those two days.”

After dating for a solid decade, Dawa felt it was the right time to take their relationship to the next level. He had secretly noted Wangmo's ring size to ensure a perfect fit. Since there were limited options for finding the perfect ring in Ladakh, he entrusted his Delhi-based sister and cousin with the task of finding it. During the process of planning the surprise proposal, he faced some opposition from his relatives, as ring ceremonies and proposals are not a part of their tradition. But Dawa wasn't deterred by it. He booked a secluded restaurant and requested a waiting staff to record their special moment. Reflecting on that nerve-wracking time, Dawa recalled, “Sonam might’ve had an idea that I was going to propose, but I was still very nervous.” 

After the dreamy proposal in January, the preparations for the wedding began. The couple made the deliberate choice of having a traditional Ladakhi wedding. “We wanted to follow our culture and traditions,” the couple shared. They entrusted the task of designing their wedding attire to Jigmat Couture, a reputable brand based in Ladakh. Jigmat Wangmo had previously designed a few dresses for Wangmo, and was an obvious choice for her. The meticulous process of crafting and finalising the attire peppered with intricate details panned three to four months. Ladakh was a major centre of the Silk Route that connected Central and South Asia. The fabric used in Ladakh is sourced from China, a practice rooted in this historical Silk Route. “As Ladakh was a part of the ancient Silk Route, the motifs and the design on Ladakhi fabrics are heavily inspired by Tibetan and Mongolian designs,” Jigmat shared. 

During their initial meeting, Jigmat Wangmo, the talented designer behind Jigmat Couture, took the time to comprehend Sonam's vision, preferences, and desired colour scheme for her wedding attire, which ranged between warm hues of saffron and gold. It is worth noting that Ladakhi brides often gravitate towards colours like red, gold, turquoise, and orange, which were seamlessly incorporated into the fabric selection. This understanding allowed Jigmat to curate the perfect brocade silk fabric, ensuring it harmonised flawlessly with the bride's preferences. The selection process also involved Wangmo actively participating in choosing the embroidery design. “The embroidery design changes according to the fabric, taking into account its unique motifs and colour palette,” says Jigmat. Such attention to detail ensured that the embroidery complemented the fabric harmoniously, resulting in a breathtaking display of craftsmanship.

The delicate process of hand-stitched embroidery—an art form that requires exceptional skill and precision—took over a week to be created and added depth and allure to the attire. Several fittings ensued, ensuring a meticulous and personalised fit for Wangmo and she was astonished to see the outcome surpassing her expectations and perfectly capturing the essence of her envisioned attire. "Jigmat was personally involved in the designing of my dress. She left no stone unturned to give me a perfect wedding dress. It made the dress even more special,” Wangmo said. 

Her wedding ensemble comprised a sulma which skillfully resembled a ball gown, exuding grace and charm. Complementing the sulma was the tilin—a blouse intricately crafted to harmonise with the overall dress—creating a seamless and captivating look in gold. 

A notable addition to Wangmo's attire was the traditional Ladakhi headgear called perak. This exquisitely crafted headpiece, adorned with turquoise and coral stones, weighed around 10-12 kilograms. “I had to stand for three hours wearing that headgear, it was very difficult, especially while greeting guests,” Wangmo reminisced. “I’m in awe that Wangmo had the strength to carry the perak for so long. Her decision reflected her respect and love for our culture,” Dawa shares. The perak holds immense significance in Ladakhi tradition as it is passed down through generations. “The perak that I wore has been passed down for five generations,” Wangmo shared. The headgear, tied around the head is accompanied by black flaps and silver jewellery, which added a regal touch. In accordance with the Ladakhi tradition, the senior members of the groom’s family must visit the bride’s house to escort her to the wedding. “In olden times, these black flaps served a practical purpose of providing warmth during arduous journeys that a bride had to take to reach the groom’s house,” Dawa shared. 

Wangmo accessorised her attire with silver and gold jewellery. The jewellery further encompassed sentimental value, as she proudly wore two necklaces—one from her mother and another from Dawa's mother. The centrepiece of the jewellery was the revered amulet which is usually hexagonal or octagonal known as gau embellished with exquisite coral and turquoise stones. The headgear was also accessorised with silver and pearl jewellery. “These accessories are very special to a bride as they are blessings from our mother and mother-in-law, and I feel very blessed to have gotten a chance to adorn them,” Sonam shared. 

Sonam draped a traditional cape, known as bok or logor over her ensemble. “This cape belongs to my mother-in-law,” Sonam shared. Bok is made from locally sourced sheep wool. It is embellished with Tibetan motifs of dragons and clouds, which are also seen in the Buddhist monasteries of Ladakh. The cape is also adorned with rainbow tassels which adds more to the vibrancy of the ensemble; the woollen cape keeps the bride warm especially in cold seasons. This cape exuded a profound sense of heritage, completing the overall attire with a touch of refined elegance.

Dawa, the groom, opted for a simple yet sophisticated kos, a dress-like attire. He tied a skeyrak—a brightly coloured stash at the waist. “It was a simple outfit. It is usually the bride’s attire that is paid more attention to. But Jigmat was trying to persuade me to get my outfit embroidered as well.” After a lot of persuasion, Jigmat incorporated special embroidery at the neckline, mirroring the motifs in Sonam's dress. This thoughtful addition elevated Dawa's attire, harmoniously connecting it to Wangmo's ensemble, symbolising their union and shared aesthetic vision. And for the footwear, Dawa opted for the traditional pabu. These shoes are made up of yak hair and wool, and keep feet warm in winter. 

"I had always dreamt of marrying a girl from Ladakh to minimise cultural differences. Wangmo happened to be the first girl I dated, and I consider myself incredibly fortunate to have married my first love." This cultural Ladakhi wedding beautifully exemplified simplicity and grace. The lehenga has come to symbolise Indian culture and weddings, but numerous communities display their own distinctive and marvellous attire. The couple celebrated their wedding with utmost elegance while upholding their cultural heritage and traditions.