20 things every bride wants her future mother-in-law to know

From monster-in-law movies to saas-bahu soap operas, popular culture has often played the trope of the precarious relationship between daughter-in-laws and mother-in-laws. Many to-be brides cannot help but feel apprehensive of their future relationship with their mother-in-law. You must remember that real life relationships are a far cry from reel life relationships, and these fears and misconceptions can easily be tackled with good communication. We're here to help you with some quick and easy pointers to get the conversation going. 

I want to get to know you better
Spend time with her, get to know her, try to find things that are common between the two of you. All of these will help facilitate a better relationship with your mother-in-law. 

I am not here to compete with you 
Make it clear to her that you are not here to push her out of her son’s life. She is his mother and will always have a place in his life. A new member of the family can never replace her. 

I need time to adjust 
With marriage comes a new lifestyle and everybody needs some time to adjust and ease into this new phase. Communicate to her that you need some time to adjust, only then can you open up.

It's okay if we have different opinions 
There will be times you might have different opinions on a particular topic. Tell her that this is very normal and that you can both talk to find some middle ground.

I love my family 
Marriage means being part of a new family. This does not mean that you stop being a part of your own family. Tell her that going to visit your family frequently does not mean you don't want to spend time with theirs. 

I want your advice 
Your mother-in-law has more life experience than you and thus her advice can only help give you more perspective. So, never shy away from asking for advice when you feel like it. 

I want to depend on you 
Life after marriage can be difficult to navigate, especially when you are a newlywed. You can always depend on your mother-in-law to be your support system since she has been through this before. 

Please don’t pressure me to have kids
Setting boundaries is very important. Communicate with her that the decision to have kids lies solely with your husband and you.

I might be different from you 
There are as many personalities as there are people, so it is obvious that no two people will be alike. Speak to her about any differences and find ways to accept and celebrate them. 

I can make my own decisions 
You ought to respect her opinions, but it is necessary to establish boundaries and let her know that you make your own decisions. 

Don't put unattainable expectations on me
There might be certain expectations your mother-in-law might have from you, which can end up feeling like a lot of pressure. It is best to talk about these things and align what expectations you can meet and what you can’t. 

I love and respect your son 
Put her fears to rest and let her know that you do genuinely love and respect her son and that he is in safe hands with you. 

Please help me out 
Being part of a new family also means learning about their traditions. You can always ask your mother-in-law to help you learn and follow certain family traditions. 

Please don’t criticise me in public
Everyone is bound to make mistakes, but being called out in public causes embarrassment and messes with your self esteem. Let your mother-in-law know that if you make a mistake, then she can correct you in private. 

Please don’t force me to change 
Marriage is all about adjustment, but our core personality as well as likes and dislikes may not change. If your mother-in-law expects you to change, stand firm on your ground and let her know that changes cannot be brought about suddenly, and it happens over time. Change should not be dictated either. 

Please listen to me 
The feeling of being heard is a major factor in an amicable relationship. If you feel like your mother-in-law is not listening to you then you have to let her know. 

Tell me if you don’t like something 
Communication needs to be from both sides. Your mother-in-law, too, needs to communicate with you about her problems and needs. 

I value you 
You need to communicate to her that you value, respect, and love her. These are the foundational steps of any good relationship. This will also put her insecurities at bay. 

Please don’t stop me from working
Nobody should stop you from working or doing anything else that you love. It's important to establish these boundaries and communicate this sincerely. 

I am not perfect 
Nobody in this world is perfect. Make your mother-in-law understand that you are human and mistakes can occur when navigating new relationships. Not to mention, there is always space to learn from one's mistakes.