7 conversations about sex you should have with your partner
Sexual communication is crucial to a relationship.
In a country where sex ed is abstinence-based, and pleasure topics are rarely touched upon openly, sexual communication may not come naturally to people. People hesitate to open up about their desires, fantasies, and concerns even in the closest partnerships.
Sex, however, is an integral part of any romantic connection. So whether you are still dating, deciding to get married, or have already tied the knot, it’s crucial you have open sexual communication with your partner.
Here are things you should discuss with your partner about sex.
Boundaries and consent
First and foremost, a couple should discuss boundaries and comfort level with certain things. It is also important to discuss consent, as being in a relationship/marriage doesn’t give an any-time-all-access pass. You can talk about verbal and non-verbal consent to make things even clearer.
Contraception
Since this is not a “fun” aspect of being sexually active, many people avoid talking about protection. But remember, having an unplanned pregnancy and its consequences won’t be a lot of fun either. A couple needs to discuss the method of protection they would like to use. Condom is a must if you’re not trying to get pregnant; don’t feel pressured to take any pills you don’t want to.
Desires and fantasies
Irrespective of how hesitant you feel talking about your wildest fantasies, you must, of course, after you have established that level of comfort. Talk about things you want to do or like—role play, sex positions, bondage, etc. You will be able to take your sexual compatibility to the next level only when you communicate openly about your desires,
Turn-ons and turn-offs
Putting pressure on each other to learn from trials and errors and non-verbal cues isn’t fair, although you have to be prepared for that as well. However, make things easier for each other by laying it all on the table.
Your libido
A libido mismatch can be very frustrating if nothing's done about it. So discuss your sex drives, and if there is a mismatch, find a mutually-feasible solution.
Personal hygiene and risks
It’s a given that both partners need to maintain good personal hygiene, but if you have any complaints, mention it instead of suffering in silent awkwardness. Say it—‘I want you to shower before sex’; ‘I want you to have a mint before kissing me in the morning’; ‘You’re not trimmed well enough’. Be nice, but let them know. Also, both partners need to disclose if they have any sexually transmitted diseases before beginning to get intimate.
Regular check-ins
After a great sex sesh, check with them what they liked and what they want to explore. Talking about your intimate moments will only deepen the experience and help you communicate better.
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