5 books on motherhood that are helping change the narrative

For the longest time, motherhood has had something of a skewed notion in mainstream media, where most of the caregiving falls upon the mother herself. For years, women have been expected to 'expect', and raise a child without whole knowledge of what they are getting into. In recent years though, a welcome change has prevailed in the narrative. Today, an increasing number of women are opening up about their experiences with motherhood, right from what to expect during the nine months of pregnancy and the many changes one experiences on this journey to the overwhelming journey of giving birth. Not to forget the adventure that is yet to come. The notion of motherhood is being redefined, to acknowledge the endurance and strength that such an experience takes. With such notions, we’ve transitioned from being audiences of run-of-the-mill books on parenting to those written with lessons hidden in personal experiences and more.

Here’s a list of books on motherhood that go beyond the ordinary. 

The Modern Gurukul, My Experiments with Parenting by Sonali Bendre Behl 

In this witty and insightful book, Sonali Bendre Behl brings a much-needed perspective and writes about the rise of the nuclear family in urban spaces and the arising conflict between traditional and modern ways to raise children. She breaks it down for the reader, into three simple principles of parenting that will help new-age parents navigate their way in finding a balance between traditional and modern values while raising a child. It answers simple but not so simple questions that occupy the mind of a new parent. She exemplifies these lessons by writing about her own personal experiences and sheds light on the need to go back to our roots for the healthy upbringing of children. 

Spiritual Parenting by Gopika Kapoor 

In her book Spiritual Parenting, author, parent advocate and autism consultant, Gopika Kapoor, writes about all that she has learned from being a mother of twins. The book is a guide to navigating those pesky tantrums and sleepless nights. Kapoor categorically lists down solutions to common challenges faced by most parents and also sheds light on the host of problems that should be anticipated as a new mama. She gives a new perspective to the common notion of parenting by writing about not only how to raise a happy and healthy child but also how to be a happy mother while doing so. The book covers a wide range of themes including post-partum depression, conflict in relationships and more.  

A Life’s Work: On becoming a mother by Rachel Cusk 

This witty, funny and painstakingly honest book by Rachel Cusk is an account of her early experiences with motherhood. Through the book she speaks about the life-changing experience of becoming a mom and the phenomenon that motherhood is, taking the reader through the full gamut—laughter, tears, breastfeeding, sleepless nights and even bad advice. When the book was published in 2001, she was criticised and even called out for not being a good enough parent…until popular TV show host, Oprah Winfrey, called her on her show to defend her stance. This book is highly recommended. 

Dear Ijeawele, Or A feminist manifesto in 15 suggestions by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie 

“Be a full person.
Do it together.
Teach her that 'gender roles' is absolute nonsense.
Beware the danger of what I call Feminism Lite…”

This book by Nigerian author, Chimamanda Adichie was originally written in the form of an email to a friend who asked for advice on how to raise her daughter as a feminist. The manifesto begins with fifteen prompts (some which are mentioned above) and is an attempt to guide parents on how to deal with situations of gender disparity and raise feminist children in a gender-unequal world. The book covers various themes such as domestic duties, gendered colours and clothes for babies, education and more. 

Nobody Told Me: Poetry and Parenthood by Hollie McNish 

Nobody Told Me is a collection of poems and stories by poet Hollie McNish, who maintained a diary during her pregnancy and initial years of motherhood. Through it, she writes about the unexpected experiences of motherhood, and unending surprises of it all. She writes about how she didn’t know how her parents would react at the news, how to stand while holding a baby, or what exactly counts as a lullaby and other questions that she faced while she was pregnant. McNish writes of how children too can be caregivers, and how she raised a child in modern Britain, while looking for corners where she could scream out her frustration, every once in a while.